Changing the game with difficult conversations

When it comes to difficult conversations, how brave are you?  Are you able to meet the challenge these pivotal moments in time present? Or do you find yourself slipping into telling and selling, or yelling and defending behaviours?  These are common responses that many of us fall into and when we do this we dramatically reduce the opportunities for new understanding, learning and strengthening partnerships with the other person.
We know from the research and from our own lived experiences that rising to meet the challenge of having a difficult conversation can be so stressful that many managers simply avoid them, afraid they will make the situation worse. Whilst this can seem like a safe option, it comes at a cost. 
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Unresolved conflict is amongst the largest reducible costs in organisations

​For example, did you know that unresolved conflict is amongst the largest reducible costs in organisations, according to the Australian Institute of Management.  And is just the tip of the iceberg. The cost of unresolved conflict incorporates:

Individual distress including frustration, anxiety, loss of sleep, strained relationships, declining mental and physical health, absenteeism, counterculture activities, ongoing dissatisfaction, and good people deciding to leave the organisation for greener pastures.

Broken relationships resulting in lost productivity, lost opportunities, declining trust, declining morale, increased disputes between other individuals and teams, reduced customer service and satisfaction, and increasing numbers of resignations.
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Strained organisational resources due to increased claims for injury, accidents and sick leave because resources are being redirected toward case management, and recruitment and retention activities.

​Difficult conversations scare most of us, taking us to the edge of our comfort zone. Whilst this is a normal and understandable response it moves us further and further away from the healthy vibrant relationships we want and need to foster environments that are productive, innovative and vibrant, places that enable and nurture high-performance and places that people want to be a part of.
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So how do we change the game when it comes to difficult conversations?  There are a range of skills and tools you can use to make these difficult conversations easier to have and to increase your chances of success. 
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​Difficult conversations take us to the edge of our comfort zone

​Three principles you can keep in mind next time are:

1. Keep the dialogue open, healthy and transparent. Focus on creating a safe environment where you and the other person can put issues and concerns on the table and talk freely without fear of retaliation.
2. Become more sensitive to the other person’s needs and aspirations rather than fostering and reinforcing an environment of territorialism, competition, power and status.
3. Be open to influence and to adapting your thinking based on new information being presented. New thinking activates and facilitates growth. When we get entrenched in our own point of view and addicted to being right, we stop listening and being open to the perspective of others and reduce our chances of finding a resolution that is workable from everyone’s perspective

There are master classes and coaching you can access to build these skills that will support you to master this critical management skill. Consider joining me at the next masterclass I will be speaking at this week where we explore these concepts in greater depth.
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You can learn more here:  https://bit.ly/37q45Kg
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