As we move further into the new year, I find myself getting super clear about the thread I will follow.  I believe, as Rick Rubin says in his delightful book “The Creative Act: A Way of Being”, that “our thoughts, feelings, processes and unconscious beliefs have an energy that is hidden”, and whilst it is an unseen and unmeasurable force, it gives our work and interactions a powerful magnetism. And it is the truth that becomes embedded in our work. 

​For me this thread is about dignity, the intrinsic value and worth that resides in every human, being and finding ways to weave this thread into every aspect of my life and work, in essence its about making it a way of life. 

​​You see we all want to be treated in ways that show we matter, and when we are not treated this way, we suffer. There is more than enough suffering in the world and dignity, as a way of being, a way of life, a way of responding and as an invitation to others, has the power to transform every encounter we have, every day in big and small ways. 

Choosing a thread intentionally has the power to weave together your experiences, emotions, relationships, purpose, gratitude, hope, compassion, purposeful action, legacy, interconnectedness, endurance, connection, and love.
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For” Invisible threads are the strongest ties.” Friedrich Nietzsche 

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For many of us, setting meaningful and achievable goals for the year ahead is part of our personal and professional New Year ritual. It can be a way to start the year with a clear sense of direction and purpose.  For your goals to be meaningful and worth the effort, they need to be authentic and reflect who you are and what’s important for you. This week I attended the first Six Seconds Coaches Connect for the year. The focus was on the topic of setting authentic goals and the difference this can make.  This post is about sharing some of the key learnings from this session.

Perhaps most importantly, it’s about taking time to really focus on what you want to achieve this year. The emphasis being on what it is that you really want to do and not on what others expect you to do. If you focus too much on what others want, you risk losing yourself in the process.
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The key difference authentic goals have over other goals that we may feel we have set or pursue is that authentic goals are areas of focus or objectives that genuinely reflect your values, passions, and aspirations. They are deeply connected to your essential self and pursued for personal reasons rather than external pressures or the expectations of others.

Some key reasons you might consider taking the time to set authentic goals include:
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• Tapping into the power of your intrinsic motivation. When your goals are genuinely aligned with your values and passions, you're naturally more motivated to pursue them. This deep-rooted motivation and inherent alignment with your values and passions will sustain your efforts even when challenges arise.
• Enhancing personal fulfillment. Being deeply rooted in your personal values and passions means that working towards and achieving these types of goals will naturally feel more fulfilling, meaningful and rewarding.
• Resilience. When you truly care about your goals, you're more likely to stay committed and able to persevere in the face of challenges and obstacles.

Authentic goals provide you with a practical and tangible opportunity to bring your values to life and to craft a handmade life focused on what matters most to you. To cultivate ways of living and being that are life enhancing rather than soul destroying.

Here is a quick authenticity check, for your goals, from the Coaches Connect session:

• What’s a goal that you’ve set or are considering?
• What value or values do you associate with this goal?
• Now imagine bringing that value(s) to life as you work towards your goal. What are some feelings you experience as you consider this?
• How can those feelings help you with your goal? (or help you revise your goal?)

​Considering these questions and noticing their impact as you consider your goal(s) will help you gain a clearer sense of whether the goal(s) you are considering are truly authentic, aligned and deeply rooted in your values. And if they’re not, perhaps it’s time to dig a little deeper and consider what is calling you forward at this point in time and aligning your goals more closely with that.

Dignity offers us the chance to “pick up the pieces of our bruised and battered psyches and offer them the nourishment they long for”. It has the power to help us create a new story about who we are and how we might be in the world.

Donna Hicks, an associate at Harvard University’s Weatherhead Center for International Affairs, who has worked for more than two decades in the field of international conflict resolution, describes dignity as a uniquely human phenomenon. She maintains that our desire for dignity “is our highest common denominator” because “we all want it, seek it, and respond in the same way when others violate it.” 
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Unfortunately, we are often unaware of the importance dignity holds for us and habitually and subtly violate not only our own dignity but also the dignity of others. Here are a few ways outlined in Donna Hicks’ book “Dignity – Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict” that we typically violate dignity

These simple behaviors, whilst difficult to live up to have the potential to make a profound difference. At their core these behaviors are about exercising restraint, being clear about our intention, our worth, our inherent value and the inherent value and the worth of others.
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Although difficult it’s not impossible. At the end of the day, it is simply deciding to treat ourselves and each other as if we really matter.  I believe we would then have a different story to tell about who we are and how our world might be if we claimed and lived into the dignity that is our birthright. It could open up the possibility to bring more healing into our wounded world. 

Blackie, S. 2018, The Enchanted Life, September Publishing, Denmark. 
Hicks, D. 2011, Dignity – Its Essential Role in Resolving Conflict, Yale, University Press, New Haven.

Organizing Engagement, 2024, Dignity Model, Dignity Model – Organizing Engagement
Sharma, M. 2017, Radical Transformational Leadership – Strategic Action for Change Agents, North Atlantic Books, Berkeley California.
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Weller, F, 2015, The Wild Edge of Sorrow, North Atlantic Books, Berkley, California.
 Zajonc, D. & Emerald D. 2024, “Escaping the Cycle of Seeking Validation”, Weekly Tips and Tools to Transform Drama, Center for The Empowerment Dynamic. https://theempowermentdynamic.com/

​In just a few days we will reach Solstice, the juncture where the sun reaches its highest point in the Southern Hemisphere and lowest point in the Northern Hemisphere.  A time of the year that our ancestors believed represented a pause in the world and a potent invitation to stand still.
 
Celebrated and honoured for thousands of years by our ancestors and it can also provide us with the same opportunity to stop and reflect, and to rest amid the crosswinds. A time to honour the depths of our exhaustion and to reflect on the grief of last year (both personal and collective) and to release what no longer serves us.
 
This year I feel the need to stop and stand still, even if just for a moment, to honour the solstice, like never before. To be able to stand at the still center, to fasten there, making powerful and intentional choices to releasing what no longer serves. And I have “plans” to do just that. Will you grant yourself this gift of honouring the solstice? Of joining the long line of our ancestors who have celebrated the solstice. Of holding space for yourself and the year that has just gone and of honouring the complexities of grief, renewal, and liberation.